Stevie Wonder could have made that kill, for chrissakes

So she went as a Kardashian?

I’m offended that Sloth went Blackface! We just had this conversation!

He’s partying like it's 1979.

Gronk does not go to Halloween parties as a superhero. Superheroes go to Halloween parties as Gronk.

This kid writes like he’s going to be a washed up NFL punter in 10 years...

The Blackhawks wouldn’t be so good if the other goalies would just make a few Soews.

Patrick Kane is pretty hard to deal with one on one

No calling the cops and arrest is absolutely not ever the right move for disobeying school rules. (I understand this is a school resource officer but it’s an arrest for disobeying school rules.) Unless the kid is hurting someone. We shouldn’t be sending children to prison for distracting you.

I mean it is really tough rationalizing the assault of a teenage girl but you somehow managed to do it. Bravo!

at school

It’s a legitimate medical condition that more people should be aware of. It’s not like I sent you to look for photos of penile degloving. (Google it.)

I’m so relieved this story is finally being covered. I don’t think sports’ media has made an honest effort to cover this big, big story. I mean, Deadspin alone has barely contributed five articles to it. How is anyone going to be able to form an opinion on the content without full coverage? Bravo Deadspin!

[Days earlier]

Ditka’s farts are getting weaker

“Yeah, see, here’s your problem: these teams fucking suck.”