all of us deriding this childish outburst need to check our Rational Privilege

You wrote: “but you finish their new books sadly feeling that they could have saved us—mostly them, really—some time and effort if they’d thought about this for even a minute when they were younger, rather than now, when it’s a decade too late.”

Closure is such b.s. anyway. I broke it off with a friend and she kept wanting to talk about it. I’m like, birch, we’re done, get over it and stop trying to pull me back in to your drama.

too old to get upset when fratbros think I’m fat.

Deities preserve this poor child

ah, yes! precursors to the Dorothy Hamill hair cut.

My sister had a pair of those with the rainbow stitching!

I felt sooooo cool when I got to wear an authentic Gunne Sax dress as a bridesmaid...

4. Women aren’t admitting it, because *ewww!*

whooo-hooo - a kitchen privilege for my old, fat, no-longer pretty 5’7” ass.

You’d think the chefs a good hotel (is this one?) would know to completely re-do the meal the first time. If they had done, the muffin wouldn’t have become cold.

can of Crisco and a crowbar

Well, I’d hat to be his next girlfriend. How do you ‘compete’ with that?

I was in a bar getting absolutely *buzzed* and a woman looked at my big belly and sweetly asked “when’s the baby due, dear?”

It was my supreme honor to tell the interrupting cow “I’m not pregnant, dear, just fat.”

ahaha! erm.. well try this, tested/proved to have new gifs of Tom from The Night Manager:

Whatever you do, don’t go to tumblr.com/tagged/the-night-manager right now. Just save your ovaries from the gifs of a bruised Hiddleston emerging from the water. and don’t.

If the restaurant is a diner, I’ll pre-stack (I’ve worked at many diners, and know how to pre-stack.)

Doesn’t everyone already know that Tiki Bars are Gay AF? I say. If you can’t handle a few man-kisses then make your fancy tiki-inspired cocktails at home.

Kinky! ;-)

and!! a disneystore.com :3