Boras suggests the half-measure of getting baseball’s umpires to “oversee regular toweling of bases during wet weather”

Meanwhile, at the Lewis household:

My meaning was suppposed to be that our corporations now keep 99.9% of whatever profit there is to be made in a given business, rather than sharing or investing any of that in their business or their workers, paying everyone, from suppliers to labor to contractors, as little as humanly possible well beyond the bounds…

Capitalism is not a form of government, never has been, and the fact that you appear to think it is disturbs me greatly. It is a purely economic system.

“A sensational drag, by Mateen Cleaves!”

Also I would like to own a hat

Im glad Fangio's kidney stones made headlines since that's the best passing the Broncos will see all year. 

So I’m bored at work......

You think the kid is unimpressed with his dad now?  Wait till he is a teenager.

Air superiority is a little-cited contributor to American independence.

Goddamn brilliant.

I’m really hoping somehow Verdant Crosshatch makes it into the Deadspin commenter name bracket next year... 

I can feel it cuming in the air tonight, oh Lord!

Stop, I can only get so erect. 

Dear Penthouse,

Hell would freeze over before Kamala Harris gives up being Senator from California for the next 40 years for anything less than the Presidency.

Being VP is basically a death knell for one’s Presidential ambitions (HW Bush being the only VP directly elected to President without a death post-Civil War, throw in Nixon…

“Bernie is genuine, Warren is not. That is palpable, which means you can feel it. It doesn’t need to be explained. It just is.” 

Yes, giant fucking weakness. All those other candidates have a ton of skeletons and this fucking pocahontas thing makes you say Warren should drop out.

Wendy’s alright, McDonald’s alright
They just seem a little grilled

Flat Irving Society is now in session