You know what sounds like a good move after starring in an Academy Award winning Coen brother movie? Making pre-fabricated, Demi Lovato-knock off pop music.

Ten years from now you will rest assured you chose correctly.

Everybody should buy Trixie Mattel’s album.

Dear Susan:

It’s an elaborate version of ‘I’m on a diet so you can’t order that piece of cake’ he just can’t have people munching on those delicious pieces of heaven around him

The American Heritage Girls exclude Jews, if anyone wants to know just how awful they are. If you don’t believe in the god of the Christian bible, you’re not welcome.

The consistent retreat of religious people from civil society over the past decades can’t be a good thing.

And for what it’s worth a friend of mine is a (liberal feminist) pastor in KC and in response to this her congregation is going to take in more troops. And buy more cookies.

As a KC native, when you said “heretic barbecue,” I assumed you were from North Carolina and about to preach the Gospel of Vinegar.

I should have been more suspicious when my niece showed me her new merit badges in promiscuity and atheism.

First, off, you misspelled “The One Chosen True Barbecue”...

Everything about this makes the Girl Scouts sound awesome. Side note: any time I see a contemporary organization or event with “Heritage” in its title I form a rebuttable presumption that it’s some sort of Klan rally in disguise.

When he was an undergrad film student at USC, a Mormon buddy of mine made a mockumentary in the style of an ‘80s evangelical anti-Mormon film (think: The God Makers) about the dangers of the Girl Scouts. He had me put on a tie and a lab coat and play an “expert.” I ad-libbed it, but I remember saying that the Girl…

Or at least the father of the Bride had the good decency to force the impregnator or other easy to find male to marry the little harlot to avoid bringing shame to the family name! /s

No, but they at least had the decency to die after a botched back alley abortion.

Before the pill women never got pregnant out of wedlock.......

“We prefer to partner with youth organizations that share our values and vision for youth ministry, not ones that we have to monitor constantly to protect our children from being misled and misinformed.”

When I was ten years old, I stood in a huge hall at a Girl Scout rally and belted out I Am Woman with over a thousand other scouts. Easily the highlight of Scouting for me, the moment I realized that all of us together were a powerful force for change. My little girl is a Scout now, and I hope she feels the same wild…

Boys Scouts are still welcome in the parish.

Fucking Girl Scouts. Well now we know that all that cookie money is secretly funding abortions and pro-sexy times propoganda.