etzell1
Bae Bae Watt
etzell1
Mar 3
64

Look, I try to be open-minded and sex-positive and whatever the fuck, but then I read an advice column where a person’s husband is sexting their own cousin and the response is that they should look up the legal definition of cousin-fucking and twist themselves into knots to arrive at a place where you can sext your

Mar 2
13

This was a fun article about a fun guy who is one of the longest-enduring acts and has great stories about Sinatra and Elvis and your instant reaction is to say, “Hey, how can I poop on this?”

Take a nap. You’re tired.

Mar 2
15

Indeed. Some him for the first time like 3 or 4 years ago opening for Iron Maiden. Really fun show and I’d totally pay to see AC headline. Read more

Mar 2
30

Alice Cooper is the real deal. See him live. It’s worth it.

Mar 2
11

What I’ve always liked about Alice Cooper is that he’s exactly how he described Elvis: down to earth and willing to make fun of himself. He’s just this ordinary guy who’s job happens to be outrageous and over the top. I always get a kick out of his telling of the infamous chicken incident. 

Feb 26
11

Great idea.  Go tell Manchin and Sinema to kill the filibuster then, otherwise it won’t pass.

Feb 26
60

I’m going to make a mint creating hyper-realistic, graphic pornography starring everyone’s grandparents. Then demand monthly payments to avoid releasing them. Read more

Feb 26
4

In my home town there was a funeral home named “Adolf’s Funeral home and Crematorium”. The family who ran its last name was Adolf and they were nice folks, went to school with one of the grandkids of the owner but the name always seemed like a bad choice 

Feb 25
19

David, I love you, but I am starting to feel like de niro to you as sharon stone in the movie casino. You have a habit you just can’t break. Read more

Feb 25
23

Any time those kind of mustaches come up in conversation, I think of that period where Michael Jordan had a Hitler mustache, appeared in ads with it and all, and no one told him to shave the thing off. I figured at the time that that must mean he didn’t have any actual friends - real friends wouldn’t let you do Read more

Feb 25
43

Hitler was the no-talent assclown who became famous and started invading countries!

Feb 25
56

My grandfather had a “toothbrush” mustache. He grew it some time in the 1920s and then Hitler became a thing. My grandfather’s stance was that “it was his first”, he refused to change it, and had that thing until the day he died in 1995. Read more