You’re not being the person Mr. Rogers thought you could be.

Not until you tell me what the hell a tararrel is.

Just because you've never fucked an apple doesn't give you the right to criticize the rest of us!

Other people have jobs, too. Specifically, jobs that require them to post reviews of TV shows.

Just dismiss your dumbass trolls, don't give them the attention they want.

I don’t think he could find Ukraine on a map of Ukraine.

Nah, see, Hitler actually had extreme anxiety, especially with regards to hanging out with people.

Well, at the very least, he’ll have an easy time putting together a thesis.

Roth was great as well.

“You are one of my favorite writers [...] please stop writing the way you always have.”

Wallace only exists to let Tucker Carlson’s fanbase point at him and say: “Fox News can’t be biased, look at Chris Wallace!” and then turn up Hannity. That dude is complicit in all of Fox News’ fuckery.

[T]ell me another time you’ve heard Ken Starr’s name mentioned when it wasn’t about Clinton’s impeachment?

What about Diet Double Dew?

One of MTV’s most iconic shows, Punk’d is one of MTV’s most iconic franchises, originally ran on MTV from 2003 to 2007 with host Ashton Kutcher. 

How the fuck did that dipshit get ungreyed?

I’m pretty sure it’s simpler than that. I think it goes back to the NFL with him. Specifically, he’s on the record of loving all the jacked up!-style coverage of the big guys hitting each other. Then that went away because of concussions. That made the NFL soft. SAD! “You used to see these big, beautiful players crash…

I’m always baffled by the people who, in one breath, say there’s no way R. Kelly’s a rapist, and in the next, acknowledge he married a 15 year-old. It’s amazing how far people will go to delude themselves.

My go-to is “If I had a dollar for every time I heard ‘If you do X, he’ll get reelected’, I could buy Trump Tower.”

I saw The Hu last year, and it was a ton of fun. Their lead singer did all of his crowd work in Mongolian, and then would shout the city name at the end of his sentence, which drove the crowd crazy. Then, their other singer/horsehead fiddle player would growl “NEXT SONG: WOLF TOTEM”, until their final song, where he…

Fuck literally every word of that. There’s no way to justify not voting, voting independent, or voting R when the opposition was Donald Trump. He was a known quantity. A shitty grifter who has shafted every single one of his contractors, bankrupted more businesses than Quiverfull families have kids, and starred in a…