With Iran warning additional countries against retaliation, I think Trump will be calling for Article 5 to be invoked by the morning.

And, just in case anyone comes in with a “And pedophile draft-dodger Ted Nugent got crucified for it”, he really, really didn’t.

...Well, on the bright side, your comment ALMOST made it 10 hours before Iran attacked a US military base.

If you specifically told your dog to attack someone before they stabbed it, and then you shot them to death, yeah, I would use that term.

I really, REALLY hope the people who responded to the one at 1:10 said: “Hey, bud, where’s the fire?”

Chappelle and Gervais got told their trans jokes weren’t funny, and it was probably the first time either of them heard that in decades. Rather than taking the L, figuring out why they weren’t funny and either avoiding the subject altogether or figuring out a way to make jokes that don’t punch down, they’re both going…

Literally no one on the planet has the kind of power to win a direct war with the US (mutually assured destruction is a real motherfucker), so I’m not really sure what your point is. Apart from to disparage and belittle Iran, which as previously mentioned, is a shitty idea, for the reasons I outlined above.

Also important to note that many of the detainees are American citizens. Some of them are saying CBP’s response upon learning they were citizens was: “It’s just not your day”. Fucking goblins.

That would be a bad description. Iran is 4 times the size of Iraq. Iran is twice the size of Texas. Iran has 81 million people, which is 1/4th the population of the US, but is twice the population of Iraq, and about the same as Germany. They’re not a small country. That, coupled with the mountains, make any sort of…

The wheels on the plane go OH! FUCK! SHIT!

“There’s a lot of resources, time, and material that’s being utilized to be able to... abate the graffiti.”
*Penis Man’s ears perk up*

Yeah, I mean, who can blame you, you were just reacting to what happened instead of taking a quarter of a second to think about what it meant.

That’s what got us into this mess.

It’s a good thing Bolton’s not facing increased pressure to testify in the impeachment proce- *checks notes* hm.

I don’t know why you’re so hell-bent on giving him the benefit of the doubt, here.

There are gonna be some dumbasses in the comments here soon enough saying that they don’t believe R. Kelly’s accusers, even though the motherfucker married Aaliyah when she was 15 and literally NO ONE denies that happened.

Well, now John Bolton has one less reason to testify against Trump.

Don’t worry, you can still buy shittily flavored White Owl/Phillies/Swisher Sweet “cigars”, because who needs consistency when you can have moral panic instead?

The Reddit thread yesterday was everyone dunking on the clip because of how obviously and horribly faked it was. There are a few particularly egregious examples, but it turned into a massive pile-on of other times his tricks failed outright.