Citing Police Sgt. Kevin Holbrook, BuzzFeed News writes the girl had even visited the church “either to commit the attack or stake out the place, but there was no one there.”

Assuming someone saw a trend “on the news” is peak Boomer.

This, truly, is the autumn of Big Mick Energy.

I’m just here to be off-topic and report a murder.

Patrick Maloney just buttoned the whole thing up.

The Kevin Smith one, presumably.

Mother’s not going to like this.

I’ll have to try my luck at these again. Last time I bought one, I saw it was doing good, but thought “Hey, this place would be way better with way more dandelions.”, so I tossed in some seeds. They started popping up everywhere! Then, when the peppers stopped doing as well as they had been, I told them that they…

I’ll have to try my luck at these again. Last time I bought one, I saw it was doing good, but thought “Hey, this…

I’m assuming there has been a “stick to Jezebels” edict.

If I were the two guards assigned to watch them, I’d be nervous AF.

If Deadspin were still alive, this would be Fartghazi. Or maybe Benghassy.

I have this mental image of her playing DDR while juggling knives and doing the stupid “cut a penny in half” demo, and honestly... I’d probably buy a set of knives.

The restaurant is the barrel.

+1 half-drank candle.

Presumably because they’re the ones paying people to scrape you off the sidewalk.

Awful defensive for someone who ended their previous post with “People can call me a terrible person for this stance. I am ok with that.”

Also, insert “We should improve society somewhat/And yet you participate in society” meme. 

The pleas probably happened at least partly because of how likeable Huffman is, and how much of a Republican cunt Becky is, so I don’t think it ignored anything.

“I like food and don’t give a shit about anyone involved in the process" is a pretty miserable take, to be sure.

Your President has an obvious and overt white supremacist making his immigration policy. Eat a mile of shit.

nice