“I don’t care if artisans crafted this table from your dead mother’s bleached bones, me and my white ass are staying right fucking here.”

With his diet and current health, he could die very soon.

It’s actually run by a white dude named Billy McFarland and surprise, your white ass has never been to an EssenceFest.

Welcome to Chicago, Mitch

Everybody associates deep dish with Chicago but honestly, you can get deep dish at a lot of places in America. The true regional dish that a lot of people outside of Chicago [or Puerto Rico] won’t know about is the jibarito.

I don’t care for Obama criticizing Trump like he’s our big brother. Plenty of people have been able to do that while he’s been on vacation. Obama hasn’t ever been that type of person; he’s about arguing the policy and progress over talking shit about poorly wrapped Chipotle burrito filled with sawdust, Donald Trump.

Bernie:

Shit yourself in front of your family.

This is just fucking tasty.

“You were once in the greys too!”

I don’t want to hear nothing come out of ol caterpillar lip here unless he’s wearing a top hat and about to introduce a bearded lady or a frog boy. Jesus christ. These small time legislators always either look like thumbs or they have crippling hair issues.

Jon Lovett says that Marco Rubio is a coward and he travels as “Marcus Rubenstein” so he’s not found out. 

I was informed that PEEP SHOW is no longer on Netflix and I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life.

Man if you don’t shut the fuck up with this bullshit and get the fuck outta here...

where in the fuck do people like you come from?

Shut the fucking fuck up.

Amen.

Anna Kendrick’s character works in rural Illinois and yet when Affleck follows her home, it’s to a huge apartment in CHICAGO. Does she reverse commute?

People called Obama “deporter in Chief” in regards to his huge deportation record; the problem is that you’re a fucking horrible listener.

Nance has conducted a few interviews on Gawker: http://phasezero.gawker.com/an-intelligence-vet-explains-isis-yemen-and-the-dick-1699407909