Starred and go fuck yourself.

This might be the best thing SNL has done in years.

Christ. Imagine what Rudy Giuliani’s breath smells like after a heavy, starchy dinner and he’s yelling less than a foot away from your face. The bottom row of his teeth look like unlockable characters in a fighting game; just blacked out until he buys the DLC.

+1 $75 million dollar bond

“but he was wearing a fedora with a t-shirt and jeans”

The story of Obama’s presidency will be the eventual and predictable white backlash from a large group of Americans that feel that non-white people are just getting too much progress in their favor. This has gotten them so bold as to back a huckster sham bullshit artist that can’t even fathom the position he’s running…

I love that.

No but seriously: Portland is white as shit (it’s not a bug; it’s a feature)

Holy shit. I saw this typed word for word on some bullshit Facebook comment no more than 24 hours ago. Do you dipshits have a meeting and copy everything from the same playbook?

LOL Yeah okay

I’m in tears.

“Porn stash”

People seriously have to stop swiping when somebody shows you a pic on their phone. You have a single view license of that particular photo unless you want to see a pic of somebody’s butthole.

I think that’s just you. People have been calling Trump, Jim Bakker, and other shameless promotional wastes of space hucksters for years.

but if somebody tells me this is directed by the same guy who did Cast Away and Flight, I’m less likely to want to see it than if they tell me it was directed by the same guy who did Back to the Future and Romancing the Stone.

What is the correct etiquette for flying with co-workers on a business trip?.

Magma hot take.

I just read a poll that says Trumps numbers have gone up around 17% in the past week—AMONG BLACK PEOPLE

You’re pretending as if the mere debate over the wall or the immigration plan won’t bear the sort of racist/xenophobic fruit we’re already seeing.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAVE THIS MANY STARS. YOU’RE ALL REALLY BAD AT MATH.