Hey leave Half Past Dead outta this.

I tend to just use a garlic press when a recipe calls for a mincing. But in a pinch, a bunch of slices with a knife will do.

Watching baseball at Wrigley Field is the worst, man.

Wings are fucking good.

Your use of the word “terrorist” is hilarious. I feel like you call everything terrorism.

I’m crying. You took that serious? You’re elegantly humorless. That’s almost brilliant.

I travel out of O’hare regularly and I have very few issues with it. I find that nobody finds anything really extraordinarily horrible about O’Hare. Just the standard regular airport gripes.

"PoC have done this in the past at Duke as part of a political statement; don't rush to conclusions about our campus."

There's absolutely NO way that Bryan Fischer isn't breathlessly hungry for cock. I seriously can't understand it. How can you be THAT homophobic and be THAT obsessed with homosexuality? Every time I think of him, I think of Col. Frank Fitts from American Beauty.

That Hannibal Buress segment was probably one of the most perfect executions of how a roast should go when the roaster obviously doesn't give a shit about the roastee. That is really fuckin good. My personal favorite part is "you seem like a sharp businessman". It's some shit you say to somebody when you have…

After getting an unsolicited message stating "I wanna break your vagina," I replied with "I wanna break your face with my fist."

Can't wait for the HBO documentary.

This is why the mythical "national conversation on race" will never happen: It's never in good faith and some parties enjoy making it about their feelings instead of systematic racism and history.

Dope. And I hope you're dismissing The Jerk Store.

I've been listening to this album multiple times over and over again since I left work up until I finished making dinner and a few points:

I swear to fucking god, man.

Nothing like making it obvious that you're a white person by saying "Being a non-caucasian"...

I doubt you have a blog when you obviously can't read.

Okay, white guy. You're so fucking progressive.

Stevie Janowski: This is awesome, you can totally see straight through the butthole right into the pussy, man. That is awesome.