"Oops, man! Lost another one up there! Better send one more after it…"

Well, the Secret Service's dad has a false head. Got it in the War.

They're just doing their job of protecting the president. In this case, protecting him from looking like a thin-skinned asshole by acting as though his reaction to this incident was reasonable.

Dangerously cheesy. For external use only.

The Secret Service is very sensitive and they thought that fake head was their dad.

Are we not men???

Got that sunshine in mah pocket
Trump wrestlin' memes in mah shoes!

And such small portions!

And if one's asshole is orange, we must assume one is attempting to each Cheetos via the wrong end.

*purr*fection?

But. Was. There. Express. Written. Consent?

::Buzzfeed blows some kind of powder into Drudge Report's face, blinding it::

They really screwed themselves over, too, because "terrible" is a pre-existing condition.

And then CNN grabbed a folding chair when no one was looking.

I'm sure some of them are apolitical guys who just love things that make other people angry. Saying you like Trump is a great way to upset people without putting much thought or effort into it.

"Thank you for coming to my eleventy-" ::cut to black. roll credits::

(Pastoral music plays. Montage of merry, little hobbit lawyers.)
"Regarding lawsuits…"

I'm "totoroScat87" on Tumblr if you want to commission me.

I'm kind of thinking this is right up my alley and yet also worried it's gonna make me saaaaaaaad. That superpig is so cute.

"And SO, they proceeded to SING the WORLD into existence, and CREATE the RACES of ELVES and MEN, here on USA. UP. ALL. NIGHT!"