lol the sad thing is, she still looks prettier than I do most days at work.

WHY AM I TEARING UP? I'm gonna be so pissed if I'm pregnant.

Part of me is weighing the relative masses of a weasel and a woodpecker and the rest of me is all FUCK IT ALL PICTURES ARE TRUE:

Nooo! 'Teen Wolf" taught me that you can ride, without restraints, on top of fast moving objects and be just fine!

Neverending Stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

Also in "Why Not?"

Escaped? Bullshit. Right now those two are out there solving Sleepy Hollow Forest's toughest mysteries.

For a halloween costume? You bet.

At this point, absolutely.

Well, yeah, I think that's to be expected. It sounds like there's some good evidence her employer was negligent, and she had to deal with weeks of hospitalization, the emotional distress that comes with knowing you might die, and what sound like long term consequences to her health.

I'm very sorry you had to interact with my ex-husband. I explained to him several times during our marriage that these phrases were offensive, but he never learned.

I got my puppy this week! This is my first time having a dog so I'm still trying to figure out what's normal with puppies in terms of behavior and training and stuff like that, but I think she's doing fine. Now I'm that person that takes a million pictures and videos of their dog, so I'll share some with you guys…

OKC thread! You ever read a profile and your first reaction is like "Wow, this person is definitely a serial killer..." and then you click away as fast as possible? Just me? Ok.

You should listen to What Happened at Dos Erres or read Finding Oscar—it's the same story in different media, about a Guatemalan boy who was unknowingly raised by the soldier who slaughtered his entire village. It is, as you can imagine, heartbreaking.

I'm so happy for Zephany's parents but I wonder how Zephany feels. The Guardian article didn't quote her and I can't imagine how hard it would be to find out the people you thought were your family were actually your abductors.

My husband and I met in grad school and didn't hit it off immediately. We got stuck in the same miserable class together on Monday nights. It talked about music history, and one night the instructor went on an endless ramble about Schubert's "syphilis attacks" and kept saying the nonsense phrase "syphilis attacks"…

Oh, and

Newly single, I ran into this hot guy I was acquainted with at a bar after my band played a show. I was like "Hey, I know you. What's your name again?"

He told me his name and my next question was "Wanna go make out in your car?"