Reporter: Tom, has Donald ever touched you inappropriately?

Way to go Giants! Their bullpen has a long history of choking. No, I’m not a fan of any particular team in baseball - I just love watching the Giants lose.

Come on, that’s not really all that weird. Cut the man some slacks.

Obama is so handsome. Not just by comparison, but goddammit. It’s like putting a glass of French wine next to a half empty PBR that’s mostly backwash.

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, Lenin, should I go on?

Gollumiani is still out searching for the One Ring.

While we slept, Jeb Bush plotted. He combed the records, he called in favors, and he dug and dug and dug. And then it was revealed: The Bushy had the key all along that would get the dish of revenge, while cold, served up to Jeb at just the right time. Delicious.

So, grab them by the Donald Trump during the Vietnam War?

Giants fans after their “even number” theory falls apart tonight:

Of all the SF teams (which includes the Warriors now), the Giants easily have the least annoying fans. Can’t even find much to generally gripe about with them... until they get deep into the playoffs. Whenever they get to the World Series everybody starts acting like morons. Half the people who come through the day…

I hope Cespedes hits a ball 500 feet off Bumgarner, flips the bat so hard it takes off like an Apache helicopter and leaves the stadium, and then stares down that Appalachian fuckwit before he does a pirouette and salsa dances his way around the bases. 

*scrolls down list looking for zoolander*

Joe Biden is the fucking man.

He got all huffy.

That tattoo on the back of his leg had me fooled for a moment. I thought that the guy had a prosthetic.

Obligatory.

Ahem, go fuck yourself.

Screamer is devoted to soccer coverage, so...