And I don't deny that it worked. It's just not something I look for when I watch movies. I've enjoyed plenty of war movies before, but this one gave me a headache. And I'm happy others liked it, and I do respect the craft. But I can't imagine how anyone actually LIKED it.

Is there anybody else out there who absolutely hated Dunkirk? I truly cannot fathom what people enjoyed about it. I mean, yeah it was nice to see practical effects in a modern blockbuster, and it was immersive, but it was also the most unpleasant movie experience I've had in a while. It was loud, disorienting, and…

I hope Pickle gets picked on at school, and that the other kids stick his head in the toilet while he wears his little MAGA hat.

That's cool and all. But the real question is, when's the Virtual Boy Special Edition finally coming out???

I've noticed how conservative boycotts recently have been doing the opposite of what they were intended for. Hopefully their next movement will be #DontImpeachTrump.

How dare the Onion use my likeness, I told them I wished to remain anonymous!

While we're at it, let's stop romanticizing John Lennon as some hippy prince of peace. He beat women too. Oh, and let's stop mourning Chuck Berry. The dude put cameras in toilets in the women's restroom of his restaurant. Death shouldn't pardon someone's sins.

In both cases, it was when I brought up any cases of white Christian terrorism (the Pizzagate gunmen at Breitbart, the Quebec mosque shooter at Infowars).

Speaking of Trump and his supporters being sensitive little snowflakes, I've now been banned from both Breitbart and Infowars, because those sites are safe spaces for bigots and morons. I guess I'm gonna go for the trifecta and get banned from the Blaze. Wish me luck!

Damnit Disney! You fucked up the unwritten rule that every Star Wars film has a one word abbreviated title (for example, Empire Strikes Back is "Empire" and Attack of the Clones is "Abortion"). Now I'll have to say Return of the Jedi's full name instead of just "Jedi" and that's just a waste of my precious time.

Can we please fast forward to 20 years from now when "Make America Great Again" hats are almost universally considered racist symbols (except in the South, where they're symbols of white cultural pride)?