"That's the last of my worries. I don't even respond to stuff like this."

Congress would have nothing to do with this. The Federal Reserve handles deflation.

The 1929 stock market watched the end of the game and was like, "Now that was a fucking collapse."

Or he's introverted AND feels that being good at football is his "safe place." He acts like he always has and doesn't specifically think about what he's doing. Having fun and showing bravado on the field, or not liking a crowd in his face are not mutually exclusive.

Think you mean Sophocles (he muttered. pedantically).

Whats up with the Draper and Burke praise in these responses? Did one of them go to 34-31 C271 for you recently at work or something?

I don't want to speculum, but this is going to stirrup some controversy.

He doesn't get sick of watching Dwight Howard?

No way, Jeremy. Famous people can't crash on my couch anymore because of fucking Billy Joel ruining it for everyone.

I'm surprised at the change in Jeremy's appearance. He never was one to let himself slide.

Carr: [sees headline about the Raiders hiring Jack Del Rio]

"First off, I just wanted to so thank you to Herschel Walker.. uhh sorry, Herschel Walker."

"YOU ALL CAN CALL ME MOZILLA FROM NOW ON BECAUSE I JUST HAD TO FIRE FOX."

This is like if someone got simultaneously crossed up and posterized

To be fair, after losing his soul that kid's NFL draft stock improved dramatically.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

I talked to some Broncos players who said Manning was throwing more picks in practice in the past six weeks than at any other time.

Actually... the dirty little secret about Kyrie Irving is that he moonlights as an older gentleman on the playgrounds, not as has been shown in Pepsi commercials to "school" other pick up players, but instead in hopes of attracting mature, well-red women capable of citing Keats from memory. Also, he collects…

can't finish at the rim

Tilman Fertitta holds himself out as a "self-made" man. Interesting considering that his father's large quantity of money allegedly came from men who are "made."