[does shot, snivels]

I see very little proof.

"I came up with my own 'Dream Shake' I guess — the white version."

"I came up with a shot where I just have to basically lean back, don't be athletic at all and just hoist it up."

CC: Cleveland Browns
RE: Manziel

Basketball
Energy drinks
New team
G
Halftime naps
A
Z
Irving

If being bald and unable to put on muscle meant you had cancer, the Hasselbeck brothers would've died 15 years ago.

At least Jets fans understand that an Idzik sign is never going to be successful.

So, my mother was relentlessly hit-on/lightweight stalked by Rick James in the 70's. For example, when they first met he introduced himself by going "Get over here big-leg girl! My name is Ricky and I'm your new [insert N-word here]!" When it first came out, I wasn't allowed to watch Chappelle's because I was too…

My stepdad, for one, is super excited to hear about a Mexican losing his job to a middle-aged white guy.

"Actually, it's about ethics in journalism."

The Kings obviously hate America, because they support Yusuf Islam.

Fred Fired: [opens new Word document]

Hood to English translator: Ty Lawson recalled a hilarious event during a basketball game when a fan exclaimed that JaVale was on a television segment that highlights follies and other nonsensical hi-jinks. JaVale promptly replied by saying, "I am working hard to earn a living."

I believe that I am an educated, young male that is not perfect.

"Ain't nobody talkin bout malconts, we's just sayin dog's missin some melanocytes, which as you may well know produce melanin, the substance responsible for skin pigmentation. Y'all enjoy y'all's self now."

Wilson would not comment on the trash bags he was carrying, which appeared stuffed with J Crew catalogs and back issues of Vanity Fair.

Bill Belichick's choose your own adventure

Change your name.

Merkins for Merlins