And yet, I don't think anyone's ever accused Tuohy of having a black heart.

Any sack is met with a hearty congratulations, such as "great job" or "what a hit!"

Reporter: "What advice did your doctor give you to help get through your spinal stenosis Arian?"

The asthmatic, overweight father of six succumbed to a choke

[checks Twitter]

Dumbledong

SCENE: A locker room, five minutes to game time

DeMarcus where?

In any case, chugging is a thing scrubs do for other scrubs; it's dumb and showoffy and ridiculous and immature. And, it's not what Madison Bumgarner was doing.

Jon Hamm is that you?

Sources confirm that after the vicious prank the suspects were then seen waiting outside the restaurant waiting for their ride home and pointing at the neckline of their jerseys, giggling uncontrollably.

rubbing the Schlitz

You'd think a Seahawks fan would know that clutch out of pocket is more of a Russell Wilson thing.

Great, the week I benched Microphones for Old People On iPads is the week this happens and my grandmother successfully sends an email.

If you wanna be my dealer

Last I checked, the "still legal in New Hampshire" defense worked twice a year for Mark Sanchez.