*kinja gawker commenter instruction manual.

this is one of the funniest articles i've ever read in the entire gawker-verse. A++++

Hey.

This made me send a friend request to someone named Ashley Feinberg on Facebook. I hope it's you.

Sorry for introducing you to fine art.

A creepy thing Ashley did on my phone last week was to steal it at a bar while I was sending an email, and text my easily confused boyfriend the following picture (in response to a text about his 9 year-old nephew):

Too late, Ashley. You ruined it. (runs out of room crying)

As someone who handles brand pages, you just know that a social media manager was so excited about a non-abusive comment they bragged about it to co-workers. "We got a comment! And not one about making money working from home! You guys, we got a comment!"

Proud of u

I accidentally hit like on an ex's engagement photo (an ex that I'm not even facebook friends with.) Now I see I should have just embraced how creepy I was being and tagged myself.

As a straight male secure in his manliness. I like to randomly set my status as engaged and get facebook engaged my fellow straight men. Just the ones who are completely homophobic. The comments I get from them, and their families are great.

I love everything about this article. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Seriously, by far the best thing that happened to me today.

I do this to my friends already.

Or in the middle of the night, see who is up scrolling through Facebook b/c they can't sleep and say "Hey! Wigwag! What are YOU doing up at this hour!!??!!" I'm always tempted to reply "Digging a hole in the back yard while it's nice and dark, why?"

You joke as if that's not a daily fear of mine.

This one. This one is the greatest.

Well there goes the only compliment I've gotten in months :(

Not bad, but it's worth referencing that Gizmodo already covered the uber-ultimate Facebook creepy-troll tactic, courtesy of legendary Ryan Roy:

"it's just a chemical dosage that goes from your mouth to your brain" - sorry, but that is completely misleading, and in an article purporting to explain how food interacts with the brain, is downright false. It also ignores information given by the sources you actually quote.