What the everloving HELL.

OH MY GOD WHY CAN’T I LOOK LIKE YOU

I’ve had trust broken terribly and irrevocably, but I still choose to trust my partner. I think that’s probably because we DID take the time to talk everything out, and we know where each other’s lines are - and also know that they can be crossed in some situations. For example, I don’t want mr.eruvande snuggling on a…

Oh, for frack’s sake, if I had to wear the beautiful nonsense that women have to wear to these sorts of shindigs, I’d be falling down all the damn time, too. Like this adorable baby penguin. (I would probably not be this adorable.)

Oh, The Rock:

Oh, oh, that picture with the baby elephant. Every time I see yet another adorable photo of the president with a baby....

I get so very, very tired of this question. I married someone who didn’t want kids, and loved him enough to be willing to forego that option. Do I feel like explaining this to every bloody nosy busybody who asks me when we’re having kids “because you’d be such a great mother”?

That is Darla! Whee!

“I’m waving... at fat.”

OHMIGODIT’SBABYDEAN!

Athleta! Not everything that they have is big-boob friendly, but a few things are, and everything they sell is wonderfully constructed and usually very pretty.

I was at Hatchet Caye off of Belize - and ohmygod, everyone should go there. It is shockingly gorgeous and they have all-inclusive plans and their food is delicious (and part of what they feed you is fished directly off-island!) and they’re eco-friendly and it’s wonderful. Plus, they have deals on Groupon/LivingSocial…

I wore a bikini for the first time in my life two years ago. I had never worn one, because of all of the shame I’d felt for having a yo-yo body (from average-to-fat and back again) all my life. Then I saw this rainbow bikini, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to wear it. And I decided that haters may hate, but in…

My nickname for my husband is Waffles, and his for me is Bunnie. (Or, to be more precise, Bonnie Bunnie Butt.) (Long story.) We had this made for our cake topper, and gave out tiny jars of “WaffleBunnie Hunnie” as favors.

And what’s with all the carrots?

Well, I’d buy you a green dress.

*Mamma Mia!