They give out a free cuppa whip cream. They call it a “pupachino” but you don’t even hafta have a dog with you. Just tell ‘em it’s outside, bam, free whip cream.

It’s that list, cross-referenced with a list of restaurants without locks on their dumpsters.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

I have probably never laughed harder than I did just now when I opened a reader email and learned that the troposphere is the lowest level of the earth’s atmosphere. All hits are in the troposphere!

We don’t live in a culture that perpetuates sexual violence against men through objectification  

“wait! We are both gay?”

go get ‘em, tiger.

Relax man. It’s not Hulk Hogan.

If I’ve learned anything from watching TV during my four-plus decades on this Earth, it’s that doing as you suggest will inevitably attract the attention of a super-secret government agency tasked with suppressing freaks like you, ya freak.  So be careful out there.

We’re adults. We can sip from a cup, yet our default action is to sip through a straw like we can’t trust ourselves to go lid-less.

Assuming he gets killed, (which safe to say he does because when you have the chance to put that to film, you take it), you gotta think James Dolan just retires and watches that scene on repeat forever, like he’s Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her

Probably.

Hey my hometown made it onto Deadspin for googly eyed rather than racist reasons, which qualifies as a mild upset.  Seeing this article was very disorienting for me.

Our collective response to the Terminator franchise is “That looks cool. Let’s do that.”

Saban’s humorless hyper-competence follows in the footsteps of Bear Bryant as modern day versions of the generals that Alabama didn’t have during the Civil War

Being a team player, not questioning orders, wage suppression, universal health care...sounds like college sports are clearly just a front to indoctrinate kids into the CPUSA.

“Khalil Mack Has Leg Amputated at Knee by Hidden Battleaxe, Still Strip-Sacks Jared Goff (UPDATE: He Grew Another Leg)“

It’s not a game.

Gronk confidently telling a neuroscientist that CTE can be fixed is strong evidence that Gronk’s CTE has not, in fact, been fixed.

From the New Scientist write-up: