This kind of fuckery is all kinds of fun and goofy. I love it.

You consistently make me unhappy with myself for smirking at your comments, and I want you to know I appreciate that.

“Paul feels robbed? Cry me a fuckin’ river. You know why he’s Rich, right?”
-Peter

I was going to guess 5 Kobes

The glasses and performance wear are clearly because he’s headed straight to the triathlon after the game.

I’ve said some inarguably stupid and angry things over the years when some kid kicks my seat, but I’d frankly applaud any kid that could kick my seat from in front of me.

Let’s see....White, Texan, cross necklace, polarized lenses, Under Armor shirt...

Plot twist... the kid kicking his seat is a prospect for the Rangers.

It took all of my willpower not to title this "Ricciardo and Beavis Butt Heads"

Frampton reportedly was set to meet undefeated WBO champion Oscar Valdez later this year after his tune-up against Dominguez.

The Athletic comment section is entirely made up of people going “Great article! This is why I pay for the Athletic!”

The packers are not capable of putting anyone other than Aaron Rodgers on a stretcher.  I’ve seen them play.

This rant would be way more appropriate if he were 37. And part of an autonomous collective.

I’m still angry that he’s being called “Old Man.” I understand that he’s relatively old compared to high level soccer players. And I understand that he somehow looks like Hank Hill’s father and son. And I understand that he looks like “Back to the Future 2 when they’re in 2015" version of Flea.

I used to work with a company that held the license to make LOTR replica swords.  They too had a department to deal with counterfeit item, so I’m sure every major manufacturer has a similar set-up to protect their brand.

Cheap shotguns are cheap, but $2,000 is about right for a moderately nice over-under shotgun. High end shotguns cost considerably more.

Also kids: If it’s not spelled Blue Öyster Cult, Motörhead, or Queensrÿche, it’s a knockoff!

They used Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

They’re extremely dangerous to Porsche’s profit margin, yes.

You’re asking Jalops to save you from a terrible car purchase? You might as well draw the cash from your account and get ready for a trip to scenic Warren.