Yep. And for me, there’s a huge difference between someone who is super fake but benign — like these women I’m talking about — and someone who is fake with the intention of being hurtful or selfish. Everyone is fake to some degree at any time, just to get through the day. I certainly have a version of myself I put on…

I am occasionally insightful, in between long periods of outrageous stupidity :D

I literally made an account just now because of the epiphany your post just gave me.

I work with a guy who’s a very nice person but just has no damn off switch and he won’t shut up about random interests he has. It’s not that I don’t want him to enjoy things but I really don’t want to have a twenty five minute conversation about his terrible fantasy novel addiction.

Eh, sometimes you’re talking about people who don’t actively like you, but also don’t actively dislike you. I know a bunch of women in my social circle who are absolutely overwhelming with all their gushing compliments and “Oh my god, we have to get together soon!” bullshit, but they don’t even have my phone number…

I’ve been struggling so much with this lately. I’ve been dealing with a really stressful and frustrating interpersonal problem, and while I know no one enjoys being around negativity, it’s amazing how relentlessly positive (and dismissive) some of my close friends have been. One actually told me that if I had been…

Such a good point. If you are going to insist on people being “real”, you should probably be prepared to deal with people’s problems. If you don’t want to deal with any negativity, or you don’t care about the complexities of other people’s lives, then you can’t really demand that anyone be genuine.

I am a complete people-pleaser and it’s something I need to work on because whilst it’s partly my Hufflepuffly, wouldn’t-it-be-nice-if-everyone-was-nice, genuine happiness in helping people, it’s also partly out of a sense of insecurity. I need people to like me because I have trouble liking myself. It’s also a…

“we have different levels of intimacies with different people”

At times we have to be “fake” to make it through the day and be around other people. Not everyone needs to know all the weird thoughts and interests I have. I don’t want to know those things about other people. Frankly, we have different levels of intimacies with different people. The problem is if no one can really…

“It’s okay to have party friends. I can’t expect everyone to help me move or watch my dog.”

Except you’re not really “guilty” of any of these, because none of these are actually wrong.

“not about being genuine or fake so much as it’s the unrealistic expectation”

Some of us have to be fake to some degree to get along with society which demands the same traits/qualities from everyone. Often it’s done without any evil intent but just to fit in.

Eh. I’m probably guilty of a lot of these to someone at some point:

That’s so true. For me, part of it is that I am a high self-monitoring introvert, and I feel more at ease when I adapt to different situations. Part of it is also just avoiding vulnerability; I don’t feel like everyone is entitled to my most authentic, private self, so I have a bit of an everyday face that I wear out…

I agree, sone of these definitions don’t take into account someone who may have social anxiety or be introverted or depressed and may have to “put on a happy face/mask”, in order to be perceived as normal and not damaged. And it is exactly how you say, exhausting to put on a mask and fear that cracks will begin to…

I like these two definitions of this problem.

It’s also worth nothing that for those of us who are depressed, introverted, or some combination of the two, society has expectations of gregariousness and an “always smile!” attitude for everyone that don’t come very naturally for a lot of us. And the toll of having to keep up appearances in public can be extremely…

i don’t like when someone’s negative emotions come up and people point out that they’re finally showing their “true colors.” this is from me watching a lot of reality tv.