This was a heart warming story that left me feeling good inside.

It would have been better if he were a tabby, then I could sing....

OH MY GOD

I won’t even lie: I love the hat and the white suit, which apparently cost upwards of $2,000 (for the suit. The hat was a custom one-off.). I even love the black cape thing she wore at the tree planting. She might be part of the axis of the evil, but I really like her outfits.

The hat is fine? I like the hat in fact. I like the weird cape thing she’s wearing too. Very Empire/ First Order/ Dark Side. And not sure what else she was supposed to do but watch them plant the tree.

Yeah, I’m not sure I get the problem here.

White person decides other white person’s use of the of the N-word is reasonable? lol Ok!

I know, isn’t it great?

She’s actually very down to earth and genuinely kind. I worked a children’s event she was hosting and she rolled up her sleeves and happily got dirty with the kids. Also extremely gracious to everyone-both celebs and the “crew”. I’ve been listening to her podcasts with Oprah and she seems to have her shit together.…

I worked with an ex-military guy who’d be with a male underling in a meeting and he’d say, “I need to go to the can, come with me.” And they’d continue the meeting. And no, I did not work in the LBJ White House.

Generally I have no problem going in the office bathroom at all. The only thing that gives me pause is when someone sees me come in, starts talking to me, and then keeps talking after I go in the stall. Shut the fuck up, Pam, once I’m behind the stall door I don’t exist to you. Of course, it doesn’t really stop me,…

I used to take naps in a toilet stall on a very dull job. It had one of those giant toilet paper rolls on the side wall, but no cover on it, so I could sit on the toilet with my head resting against the roll and go to sleep for ten minutes. One day I fell asleep for almost half an hour, and most of the time my head…

My wife doesn’t but my young daughter most definitely does, so apparently somewhere between 1.5 and 22 they stop.

There’s a guy at work who brings an open coffee mug into the stall with him and it breaks my mind.

I hope Elle’s new masthead comes with an audible chip inside so that every time you open onto the page Heidi Klum’s tinny voice screams “NEENA GAHSEEAH,” like one of those novelty birthday cards.

I saw her in person a couple months ago on the UES and while we were wearing basically the same outfit (black tee and black jeans w/flats) of course she managed to look 1000x chicer than me.

Oh that pic hurts...sigh...the longing. I wish they would bring all that shit back lock, stock, and shoulder pads. I miss real clothes. I miss spending time in the AM staring at my closet wondering who I felt like being today.

I remember the Safari-type merch and the cool catalogs, and the parachutes and netting and trunks full of fake army surplus, but I’d completely forgotten what a total knockoff J. Peterman was of their whole schtick, taken to the next level.

How accurate can the weigh in be when they keep feeding them treats to keep them on the scale?? I mean, if someone kept feeding me French Silk pie, yeah, sure, I’d stand on that damn thing all day.

EVEN THE SCORPION WAS CUTE