It really should have only been five or six seconds. They just looped the same pig footage three times. Grade: B-

How does TJ Truffleberry keep up with the news like that?

Mine didn't have soda, but it wasn't empty, either.

This is why sites like the Dissolve die out. Why spend money cultivating knowledgable, experienced film critics who can break down scenes to their readers when you can hire young pups who just find stuff on the internet and give you the link?

Ed Anger was the Onion's Kelly before it was cool.

G. Gordon Liddy. Struggling ex-con, dealing with the aftereffects of spending half a decade in prison? No. Triumphantly resurgent on Fox News! Maybe if they spend 10 years in jail?

It's no Fishin' Time.

The best type of comedy is when everyone is racing to the mike to be the first person out of ten to shout something before someone else. I love CBB, but I usually can't handle these episodes after an hour or so.

If the gym teacher doesn't teach the kids how to *either* spear or jackhammer their opponents, this is a lost cross-marketing opportunity.

If I want to see what crazy thing he has done, I'm sure I can find news about that in literally every other news site. I turn to entertainment to escape that unescapable menace.

I guess Parker Lewis *can* lose…

I remember at the MTV ball they (Billed as "Automatic Baby) did "One" with Stipe and Mills singing and Adam Clay-2000 pounds and Larry Mullen Sr's son playing rhythm, and it was about as 1993 as you could get, but that was a great memory.

Let's take that a step further. Look at the number of lines he says to another human in the room in Empire. He's with a small puppet, an enormous puppet, a ghost, a robot and a man in a suit whose voice would be provided months later in post. He says lines with Dak, but, for all their quality time together, they…

Eventually, he'll get up around whenever.

Banging it all the way down. Gravity gives him an assist, which is why I like it so much.

I think if the turret gun sequence was moved to a point earlier in the movie (before they had been seen at all), the lack of seeing the aliens would have more impact. But that same scene was done better anyways when they were "inside the room!" and you still couldn't see them.

I always felt that having our first encounter with the planet be the ravaged, post-attack version in the TC was superior to the before-and-after in the DC. I don't really love the turret sequence, either— without seeing the xenomorphs, nothing is building much tension for me in that scene.

Once I started seeing other films by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Resurrection made a lot more sense. It is pretty out there for the Alien filmography, but not really as out there for the Jeunet filmography.

It's funny that you all are talking about that. I was just thinking, as I started this article, "I don't care too much about the game, but I would *really* like to play some more Blitzball, but maybe online, so I don't obliterate the teams 10-0". However, after playing some games of FIFA online, I'm sure that there…

I was really disappointed about the lyrical content of that album. Such false advertising!