I’m reading this in bed at 3 a.m. because I can’t sleep. Great. Just ... great.

I wanted to ask that same question but was too embarrassed.

Yes, I’m now remembering the $50 scratching post that was met with a polite thanks-but-no-thanks. As long as I keep those Amazon Prime boxes coming he’ll be totally entertained. And Rango the Miniature Aussie puppy will stay on his nourishing diet of socks, blankets, and rabbit poop.

Oh my gosh, I need that for my cat! But then I suppose the puppy would just eat it and throw up black things everywhere. Still, hours of fun for both of them.

Umm...Frank Sinatra? But I had to pause a minute to even think of him, not to mention Tony Bennett, Randy Travis, and Smokey Robinson. So easy to see women as the decorative person fronting an all-male instrumentalist group. Can you picture a man fronting an all-female band? If it happened it would be seen as a…

I strongly recommend the 20 questions of AA to find out if you or someone you love has a drinking problem. Most addiction specialists agree that to date there is no better to tool for evaluation. Understand that addiction is a form of mental illness. Every disease protects itself, and mental disease uses denial. An…

Had Brock found an unconscious man and proceeded to hit and kick at him for 20 minutes, would the father have been more upset? I think so. Because of course it’s unsportsmanlike to hit a man when he’s down. As a mother of a high-school age son, I see exactly where this attitude comes from. The world of sports is its…

My new Dream Couple: Kris Jenner + Donald Trump. Although realistically she is several decades too old for him. Perhaps Trump/Kourtney? Then Kloe could become pregnant by one of Donald’s sons, thus relieving her from the shame of being the only childless Kardashian. It’s win/win all around.

I am going to sneak out and hang purple mardi gras beads around my neighborhood under cover of darkness.

I think it’s a Catch-22. In weather like this, when I’m responsibly driving slowly in the far right lane, I’m not just afraid of what’s in front. There’s also the looming worry of some sleep-deprived fool in a semi coming up from behind at 70 mph. When you’re too blind to see the exits, you just have to put on your…