Please tell me the word choice was intentional.

It’s not altogether unpleasant. I even really love my job (I’m a small business owner, so I am beholden only to my investor).

34-year-old, single, one cat, making pizza for dinner...high AF.

“Outer Mission Hipster at Tubesteak at Aunt Charlie’s” is my new mantra. Because you keep repeating it.

You know it was this fucker that sent those Tweets out. Just look at him.

In the interview, the groom-to-be stressed that they won’t be welcoming other wives into the marriage.

So with all these “Dane Cook is great” replies, everyone has apparently forgotten the whole “Dane Cook steals jokes” controversy, eh?

The link under Slash and Perla redirects to a blurb on TMZ about Anthony Zuiker.

Uh, these are gorgeous?!

If you need your whiskey to taste like cinnamon, you don’t deserve whiskey.

He was also accused of sexual harassment by a former employee a few years ago.

Hot. Garbage.

As a barber/hairstylist who worked in a very monied area, parents would frequently helicopter to ensure their little walking trophy had the right hip haircut, but their parenting stopped there. Frequently these children would yell, run, screech, scream, tear magazines apart and climb on chairs with barely a glance…

Fat free...bacon?

Whenever these studies come out, I just assume it’s Wisconsin. Always a safe bet. That said, I wish our drunk driving rates weren’t what they are...but I guess you can definitely see causation...

Hey, beer is food.

Turn my oven on? Are you mad, woman?

The best they’ve got is Maher. They’re doomed.

He needs a hair intervention. He’s needed one for a long time.