Please, Toronto doesn’t want to be part of the US, they want to be their own city-state called “Toronto” where they are don’t have to think of anyone outside of their city limits again.

Most people from Toronto probably don’t even realize there’s a whole country outside of it.

I think it was the driver’s baseball cap.  :)

A few years ago at the California State Fair CalTrans brought their 18-wheeler driving simulator for all to try. Even in that artificial environment you realize the massiveness and challenges of driving one. I gained a new appreciation for big rig drivers.

Yes.

I strictly limit myself to only the dankest memes while driving, so I’m much safer than the rest of you bozos.

Hyperbole is the worst thing ever, in the history of the universe, and I never use it. 

What did you think? Straight pipes and cat delete... of course it would be loud. 

I KNOW WHAT I HAVE NO BLUEBALLERS

The real trick is uncoiling my frozen, hard as a rock garden hose without it breaking, turning on the water to the hose bib in the basement, going back outside, connecting the hose and utilizing this ‘hack’, then draining all the water out of the hose, coiling it, shutting off the hose bibb in the basement and letting…

whoa cool cameo by Andrew’s iPhone SE

Goddamn this is a tired (and stupid) take!

I’m still convinced you could get by with just two warning lights.

All I know is my car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it

Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me. YOU ARE TELLING ME. That an issued piece of US military equipment doesn’t work properly in actual field conditions? How dare you. HOW DARE YOU, sir, besmirch the good name of...

Pheew, okay good. I have tons of filled NOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS bottles I store under my bed.

I literally thought you were at most 29. 

People keep telling me I write great satire, but nobody ever understands my extremist point of view.

Yeah, this is one of those situations where I don’t really see a huge upside to deputizing yourself in order to enforce some minor traffic law.