You know how some gay guys enjoy dating men who look like their twins? It's like that, but asexual and pudgy and mostly one-sided.

Didn't he promise/threaten to stop tweeting altogether a while ago? Whatever happened to that?

I remember that one time he interviewed Sofia Coppola and Zoe Cassavetes on his MTV talk show. Dead air, monosyllabic answers, nervous giggling… ah, 90s unscripted TV.

Headlines hate him!

DEMOCRAT BURESS DESTROYS TEA PARTY REPUBLICAN ANTI-VAXXER HECKLER LIVE ON AIR CNN FOXNEWS BET CC

Thanks :)
Yeah the cuteness is the problem - his rockstar looks (look at this fucking face) are the reason why pretty much everyone who comes to the shelter wants to take him home immediately, but most of those people just want a cute family dog and have no idea what they're in for with a husky mix, and they would most…

Good job! And at least we know now that you're not totally repulsive in person.
I actually thought about you a couple of days ago when I had to make a good impression on someone myself. I want to foster (and possibly adopt) a dog from the local shelter starting next week, and I had a home visit and short interview…

A Too Much Tuna show? That's … an unreasonabe amount of Too Much Tuna.

I can totally see Hannah's mother using an actual jackhammer to masturbate.

Hmm, wasn't she in court-ordered rehab in season 2 or 3?

He'd be terrible as Steve Jobs though.

They probably wouldn't even let her in because of her drug past. Russell Brand couldn't get a tourist visa because of his various drug-related convictions, and he's rich and famous.

He's hosting Nümberwang?

I missed parts 2-5 and I'm too lazy to click through your comment history, but there is no way this isn't going to be at least a little awkward for you. If she really has little or no experience with boys (you guys are what, late teens/early 20s?) showing interest in her, she might at first assume you're making fun of…

Great Great Job, Internet!, internet.

Damn, young Redford was such a fox!

Favorite character: Death of Rats.

Straight-up fuckin' after meeting the parents? Are you a Mormon or something?

Cute and short? Sounds like a keeper.

According to Goering, "it's easier to turn an artist into a National Socialist than the other way around."
Deep down, they knew they sucked.