Sadly, people lost touch with Boadicea after culinary school.

She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm.

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

In her spare time, the chef from David's story enjoys Russian Roulette, eating glass, and arm-wrestling silverback gorillas during their mating season.

I witnessed shade with my very own eyes just the other day. My coworker got a very visible piercing to which a supervisor reacted to by saying "Well, you don't seem the least self conscious about it!". I immediately called it out as shade. I did not approve, because my coworker is a sweetheart and the piercing looks…

Well, break out the Ben Gay and scotch blanket-covered rocking chairs, I don't know who half these people are.... but I want all of them to get off my lawn.

Humanity also occurred during WWII.

I'd love to see an alternate history story where the impromptu truces spread and turn into a general mutiny by the opposing armies that ends the war nearly four years early,

Since no one has mentioned these, I get to jump in. Yay!

Each of the 6 surgeries I had, Little Kitty would sit on me 24/7 until I was on my feet again. Like, for two weeks straight. My family would bring her meals w/ mine so she didnt have to leave. When she couldn't sit on me bc I was in pain, she'd sleep on the pillow with her nose pressed against my cheek, watching me…

You can't tell me that animals don't have emotions. They're so wonderful, and yes, when you're sick, they will come to your aid. My dog turned out to be a seizure dog when I was a teenager.

The idea is, that some dogs can smell the chemical change in the brain that occurs when a person has a seizure.

That claim has always struck me as so bizarre. I don't know anyone who's had a dog, a cat, or a horse who doesn't understand that those critters, at the least, are deeply emotional. I suspect it extends a lot further into the animal kingdom as well.

So adorable, and so sad both that the owner is ill and that he and his pet are homeless.

wow, i had no idea that i was so important that people would want to find a sneaky way to record every word i say... they could have just asked because for what they paid on R&D and production on those things, i'd have worn a microphone around for them and they wouldn't have missed a word of my very very important…

Dear Moms of All Politicians Everywhere,

This is the greatest fucking thing I have ever seen.

The shame in Spain falls mainly on their domain

Same story with a Belgian Newspaper. They won the lawsuit to take them off of Google News. Their traffic nosedived and went back to Google pleading with them to take them back.

Or:

I fit that profile! But I'd be damned if I give my eggs to those jerks. I'd rather they wither and die inside me, like so many of my hopes and dreams.