You’ll never fuck things up for me again, you son of a bitch?

That’s the NFL for you: no one knows what a catch is any more, but the league was willing to go the fucking Supreme Court to make sure Fautleroy Goodell could wave his banhammer around at any player for any reason whatsoever. I can easily envision him in his NFL underoos at home screaming “YOU MUST RESPECT MAH…

But think of my little 7 year old boy Talon who I now need to explain twerking to (after of course he explains what twerking is to me) who upon seeing this flagrant act has immediately started down a road that will lead to prostitution and intravenous drug use!

Anthony Bourdain deserves better than this.

I bet Lochte was pissed.

Petition the MLB to change RBI to “right ball injury”, and order will be restored.

I’m not surprised that Wilson is team All-Lives, but I’m disappointed that Sherman is too. You’d think that a guy like Sherman, who himself has been the target of bigoted criticisms for things that white guys get a pass on, would be on the right side of this issue.

The gesture said nothing of significance. They didn’t pick a side on police brutality and racism. The Seahawks remained neutral, which is a lot like saying nothing at all.

But it’s white people that need to talk about race. We’re the ones holding back the conversation saying “nope, slavery is over! black people can vote! Kaep is rich, not oppressed!”Chris Rock has a stand up bit where he says (paraphrase) his kids have the best chance to succeed, not because of him and his success, but…

The side-eye Moss gave Dilfer during his Kaepernick rant was the absolute highlight of the show.

Ding ding ding. Trent Dilfer is objectively the worst starting QB to ever win a Superbowl. Hell I’d rather have noodle-armed 2015 Payton Manning than “prime” Trent Dilfer

Trent Dilfer also said yesterday’s week one game was a must win for the Jets, so let’s all feel free to stop paying attention to him anytime now.

Trent Dilfer would be selling insurance in Visalia if a mostly black Ravens defense hadn’t carried his replacement-level ass to a Lombardi Trophy. He might want to sit this one out.

Genuinely not sure if that was a real Incognito quote.

ESPN Exec: “Yeah, Charles...that take was at about 60 degrees. We’re going to need you at about a 110 going forward, mkay?”

Wow, a nuanced and well reasoned take on ESPN. Maybe they’r—

Wide deceiver???

Sounds like my ex wife!!!

Stealing from the rich to give to the po’boys.

You’re my gyro

This guy seems completely reasonable. I mean who hasn’t assaulted an elderly man over a brisket sandwich at least once in their life?