Listen, I’m just glad you overcame your stroke and can use a keyboard again. I’m sure your tastebuds will come back eventually.

“My job description does not entail a farewell tour.”

Here’s Leonidas’ dick and balls.

I believe 164 BCE was also the last time a Buffalo sports team was in the playoffs.

If you’ve ever been an athlete, or been around elite athletes, they operate without paying a lot of attention to how the rest of the world operates (avoiding “distractions”). They’re almost never well socialized. An athlete can do well academically and still lack social sophistication or an appreciation for propriety.…

Lochte’s affable, energetic, cute and dim. It should be obvious he’s just completing his transition to golden retriever.

Asking for enlightened views or eloquence from a dude who's been in a pool constantly since he was six might be a bit much.

This is Rio, show some respect and let Pitbull get you another Bud Lime.

If Deadspin as we know it is about to end, that video is a fucking brilliant way to go out.

From swimming in meets to swimming in meat.

Does anybody not like him besides people who think weed is the devil?

Should have chosen Subway

Do we not like him? I like him.

More like Chad ‘Not Even’ Le Clos.

Michael,

Le Clos poked the bear, and the bear mauled him to death in front of the entire world.

He doesn’t owe us shit, and maybe, just maybe, he’s not trying to be the most popular person in the world.

Reflecting on the fact I used to swim in the same meets as Phelps and now here I am eating my Quizno’s.