I look forward to watching Jackie Earle Haley portray him in “Bangs And Changs: The Mark Davis Story.”

Polys want that cracker

Show us on the bottle where the Budweiser touched you.

Brady will be a free agent.

In fairness, Zac Taylor is what every CPAC attendee thinks they look like what they actually look like is:

Really need two things out of this season.

But Wells failed the agent certification test

Even sadder is that he didn’t pass due to the last question, that was always meant more as a joke.

So I’m bored at work......

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

“Look, lady, it’s right here in our birth plan, OKAY?!”

This fucking team released a hype video of its new quarterback completing short passes. That’s not just setting the bar low, that’s burying it — probably because they intend to let Eli run this team until he’s dead.

During her concert on Friday, J-Lo had brought out a big-ass fancy cake, with Rodriguez’s first name spelled out in crystals, and had everyone sing “Happy Birthday” to him.

Nice of J. Lo to have the cake customized for his personality.

How long do you think they kept a straight face when they told him he got traded to New York?

I guess another way of saying this is “grill marks are so awesome they should be on every inch of your meat”

Saving on medical bills. 

your fucking face is boilerplate

“In the building” is also a pretty solid summary of my average day at work.