Bird-Brained Boo Bird’s Brew Brains Braun

Braun is a terrible human that deserves beer spilt on his head every time a pitch is thrown.

Oh, I’m sure it is! If there were a transcript, I’d click the shit out of it too. I’d read it on the shitter! I just haven’t figured out a way to work podcasts into any part of my life and I feel fulfilled anyway. 

Glad to hear you’re okay, Drew, and thankful to have you back here writing.

and the sound of you jerkin’ it.

Aw this is so sad, Alexa play Despacito

And that thing I bought to always listen to me is always listening to me?! This is an outrage.

Tomorrow on Kinja-deals:

shit. you’re telling me amazon has my address?

30 unoccupied cars flooding isn’t an emergency. It’s just unfortunate.

This is the kind of thing I can imagine happening to Ben Shapiro, who would then devote an entire podcast to it. 

Large water reservoirs on the roofs of buildings are often used as a mass-damper system to help counter the swaying of tall buildings. If the penthouse owner wants to pay to put in a pool you get some benefit out of it for free (typically the swaying is from wind, but there are benefits for earthquakes too).

How exactly did the person know to be ready and recording that monitor just at the right time to catch the fire?

Nice pic but needs more red. And lose those sideburns!

Louis CK’s South American tour is not off to a promising start.

Somewhere, there’s an incel form claiming the masturbator is the real victim. 

I bet all of James Corden’s jokes are original, but he’s still awful.

This actually kind of works towards those who believe the RBI is meaningful. 

About the same time as when we talk about how apples and oranges are both fruits but also still different things.

This is the Chris Davis of takes. At one point people thought it was good, and in certain contexts it was great, but it just keeps getting trotted out there whether it makes sense or not.