If you just barely shut the door where it latches but it’s not fully closed, it won’t honk

Zero comic timing. I can’t stand her, it’s hilarious to see the praise she gets. Pete Davidson is pretty bad too.

He has a wide stance!

Fuck you for this headline Deadspin. They were singing a fucking song. Not chanting.

No one deserves credit for realizing anything that blatantly obvious. My ex-wife knew not one goddamn thing about football and saw Tebow throw a pass once and busted out laughing.

Oh please he’s eating pizza and doing coke, not like he’s blowing it on cars.

As a Cowboys’ fan I am absolutely in support of this.

I was incredibly lucky to have my first divorce attorney consultation(free through work employee assistance program) with a lawyer that gave me this same advice. “Cutting off your nose to spite your face” and “spending dollars to make dimes” I believe were two expressions he used. Saved me thousands if not tens of…

I said this the other day. The Olympics are sports for people who don’t give a shit about sports

Something more like this:

You guys are really milking these puns for all they’re worth

I understand this reference unfortunately

First thing I thought of

United breaks guitars

That is they gayest fucking shit ever and they should be mocked endlessly for it.

There was no footage.

This didn’t get the love it deserved, because no one cares about the Rangers right now. But rest assured I texted it to my dad and brother and they chuckled

No. No. No. I had never purchased one fucking songs on iTunes, and haven’t since. I despise U2. Whenever I plugged my iPhone in my car, that fucking shit started playing. There was no way to “click delete” when it came out. They finally released something that enabled you to remove it, but it was about a month of…

That’s funny because there is a Grand Cherokee in my apartment parking garage that is completely covered in dust and cobwebs and has inspection and registration stickers that expired in 2014. I live in Houston though.

Pretty disappointed no one has posted the “this guy fucks” gif from Silicon Valley but I’m not searching for it at work