a big fan of E.O. Wilson and Richard Dawkins, and a 1983 college grad, I am confused by the critique of evolutionary psychology. Did I miss that class? I realize that culture, parenting, etc. have an enormous influence on our thinking and behavior, but does anyone doubt Dawkins’s central premise (paraphrasing): “An…

Whether it’s evolution, biology, culture or the patriarchy - or some combination thereof - can we at least admit that no one has successfully, by an effort of will, made themselves attracted to someone they were not attracted to before, or made themselves not be attracted to someone they were attracted to before?…

What about the reason that as he ages, he is less likely to be able to find someone else, so she is less likely to be left alone to raise the child?

I haven’t read up on this, but I know from personal experience that I noticed at about the time I reached 50 that I was only sexually attracted to younger women and older women who look younger then they are. I am filled with guilt about this but I have tried to change it so far without success. It is causing a lot of…

Maybe we’re overthinking it. Maybe we should just be happy when two mutually-attracted people of any age manage to form a relationship together. It seems like we are trying to 'save' women from relationships with older men but isn't feminism about empowering women to make their own choices. Instead of listening to…

Interesting - I definitely feel like I am pretty good looking until I look in a mirror or at a picture of me - in my head, I'm not 54 but 24 and 175 pounds instead of 250. On the other hand, while I never did notice lots of people finding me attractive (I always assumed they were just shy or being subtle), I almost…

I don't think men have any such rights. But I do think that we all need to acknowledge that relationships don't happen without mutual attraction, that attraction is not something we have control over (is it biology, culture, the New York Times Fashion Magazine? I have no idea), and that some 40+ men (maybe even most)…

It's very nice to have all kinds of rules about age, but what if you are attracted to the person? Really attracted? And the other person feels the same? Would you reject that relationship because of a rule?

I’m honestly confused by all this. On the one hand, I feel bad about the women who are triggered by older men talking to them, but on the other hand, I am not sure what behavior is proper when I’m sexually attracted to someone who is of legal age. I realize I’m a man so I can’t really compare, but I’ve always been…

I agree with you, but... As far I as know, no one has ever been able to make themselves be attracted to someone they're not attracted to, or vice versa. (That's not to say that your feelings toward a person may change over time, but not because of your act of will.) After reading all these comments (especially those…

Actually, I thought the underlying issue was why older men are sexually attracted to younger women. Of course, all people who are available to date seek out potential partners that they are sexually attracted to, and much of the data comes from visual cues (i.e., what the other person looks like). I do not believe we…