Regarding your second paragraph —

If Morrissey hasn't used the song title "Disappointed, not Surprised" already, then he has come close a dozen times.

"Gene Hackman"? That's the worst pen name I ever heard.

According to the AFI, Tootsie is the #2 American comedy of all time, behind Some Like it Hot. http://www.afi.com/100Years…

Just edit when you come up with a better line. I promise not to tell.

Traditional commenting statistics undervalue assists.

So they're planning to invade the US! It all makes sense now!

As far as I know, he didn't say that, he just implied it with an image that allowed for implausible deniability.

It sank to the bottom of the ocean, then the admiral of the Polish navy declared it impregnable. Ha ha! Apparently I'm seven years old.

Goat and tiger are divorced and engaged in a billion dollar legal battle over the disposition of their stock in a Russian oil conglomerate. Aren't you keeping up?

Not a terrible performance, considering that Starfleet often assigns prospective officers to rep Bronies as an alternative to the Kobayashi Meru.

Kanye's emotions got clipped in the loudness wars.

I assume bortman meant sexual harrassment specifically (with some exaggeration), not that men have a lock on being assholes online. You might be talking past each other.

(studio audience laughs)

That was so C3PO could take it off and wave it around and tell waitresses, "You guys sure charge an arm and a leg," then explain how that particular arm was also a leg, then demand to pay the Senior Special price, and only after winning that argument admit to being a robot who doesn't eat.

To StarWipe, the site with the world's largest monkey typewriter farm dedicated to ethics in journalism jokes.

You call them by their name! They don't want special treatment.

Ask whether Spidera™ is right for you!

The odds of a 1 in 64 coincidence occurring purely by chance are millions to one against.

If free will existed, then so would responsibility, an idea is probably prosecutable. Nobody should be blamed for simply doing what they were told or paid to do, or felt like doing for reasons beyond their control. We all know where the buck stops.