Whatever. Which country wouldn't even declare war on the Nazis until the Germans invaded Poland in 1939? It wasn't America, I'll tell you that.

You forgot to call her Auntie.

Because I could not stop for Death
He kindly stopped for me

You're not supposed to marry someone whose Chinese zodiac sign is offset from your own by 6 years. We tempted fate and did it anyway, and you know what? The rule turned out to be sound: I was kind of an asshole.

Of course, because the 11th century ends in the year 1200! There is no year zero!

(Press the button on this alleged quote to trigger your bullshit detector. If detector does not sound, replace the batteries.)

Just upvote everybody and no one will know.

Crap, another alien race trying to conquer the planet with the power of compound interest.

Right, because complaining about them is just empty talk. They need to die, and somebody needs to step up and make it happen.

Something something head up ass something something.

Adam Scott’s character will select him “to fill a certain position.”

Corporations don't have feelings. Fear in this context is the perception of a risk of harm. There are people paid to evaluate the rationality of a perception of risk.

That sounds like a self-indictment to me. "The only way I can justify my position is by excluding the middle." Why not draw your own lines instead of being a cartoon character?

It's a simple concept that my German clients just can't seem to understand.

Fortunately, Kirk's salamander is female, so nothing in that development threatens the movie's PG-13 rating.

Do you know any funeral homes that hire insult comics for memorial services? If anybody would know the answer to that…

That's called "belching" in layman's terminology.

He fought that phlegm glob for decades, but it horked him first.

I had forgotten that, which sounds like a bigger deal even if stolen emails makes for juicier gossip.

Long hard-to-remember passwords kept by humans almost never work. But then it's the user's fault for having merely human recall abilities that force them to break the rules, and not the fault of the people who made the policy in the first place. The passwords work for the people who make the guidelines, especially if…