Destiny:

('-')/\('-')

Ah, yes, Activision paid us to talk all about how frustrating Destiny is and how you can pull out your LAN cable to cheese the latest raid boss. Good investment, Activision!

Seth McFarlane should give this man a marketing job.

No comment has convinced me to buy a game like this comment.

And there you go. It was not even a few minutes before you came along and proved my point entirely.

1989 by Taylor Swift

DAT MUSIC DOE

I turned gay for 2 seconds.

Considering many "wall o' texts" are immediately, and decidedly, met with tl;dr dismissals these days (particularly by the people who would benefit from the read), I'd say breaking his essay down to easily readable and digestible 140 character chunks was the better move.

Please hurry. It's dark here.

Love the subtle "patch" work.

It is from the game Mirror's Edge... Her tattoo, and then some random game wallpaper graphics.

oh come on, you know it's fair. when we were growing up online we were just as obnoxious, except we thought newgrounds was the holy grail of the internet and that "all your base are belong to us" was genius.

That's right, the articles are just like Candy Crush invites. Don't mean a damn thing!

I read that entire thing in his voice.

Welcome to the internet, where the comments come first and the articles don't matter.