He could head down to the pawn shop and see how much they'll give him for his sense of shame, since he's not using it.

These are men who consider themselves against sexual assault, and are shocked to find themselves accused of it.

OMG if I was hosting a party where this happened it would be the highlight of my life! If the hosts feel differently then they're lamers!

That's amazing. Your child is amazing.

She has an elegant home, she can afford a new hairbrush. I have a crappy home and even I own more than one hairbrush. It is ok.

that is going to be a great story someday. you can tell it at his rehearsal dinner when he gets married. things are not as they seem. love that.

Oh my, good story. After high school, over the summer, a couple of us worked at a local yacht club. My buddy, a very large built and attractive 19 year old, who taught tennis to children, slept with a female member. It was such a cliche, she drove her Mercedes wagon, wore a size 2 tennis outfit, dropped her kids off…

Other people work out for you while you have a cocktail.

It was about ethics in gaming journalism.

Good. Fuck him and his Bieber hair.

you know what I find offensive? 18 year olds getting shot and prosecutors intentionally throwing the case

Me too! I'm thinking about the green elf dress fo'realz

I would buy a dress in that red/green Christmas tree print in a heartbeat.

Some woman (allegedly) thinking that a performance piece was license to sexually violate someone is further proof that we are in desperate need of public education on consent.

"Oh please. it was a tragic event where two people made mistakes."

Seriously. It's like a ham somehow became sentient and someone gave it a gun and a badge.

There's only one person in this mess whose life is over, and Darren Wilson shot him.

Everybody with me now:

It's so weird. There's this thing you can do to remove some of the uncertainty and investigate the evidence ... what is it? What is it? OH YEAH. A TRIAL.

At KKK headquarters.