...so YOU had the 944 shell I bought from the middle of nowhere!

I hate to break it to you, but the Regal TourX is actually a five door coupe.

Goddamnit, Robin! Keep your cloaca shut!

this lack of foresight led to the omission of a full sized spare, which in turn enabled the joker to get away.

*Guy cuts you off*

“Old Guy Figures Out How to Get Everyone to Leave Him Alone”

today i learnt its completely impossible to make jokes round here without someone taking it seriously

I 100% agree with this sentiment but... it’s sooo cute!  and if I were retired and lived in one of those golf-cart communities I would totally buy this and terrorize the other retirees 

Yeah, this one is shifty in a very bad way. First off, no mileage listed. Second, the seller claims “clean title” but does not provide a VIN (clean title and clean Carfax are two different things). Third, replacement drivetrain with 80k on the meter (supposedly). Fourth, picture taken in a car wash.
BUT these do have a…

Sheesh, enough with the deersplaining already! (Just kidding, enjoyed the story, which I’d heard before somewhere but forgotten about).

From the look of things, it actually does drag a bubble of air down with it - a thin skin of air covering its head - and it exhales into this then inhales the air back in. As the article says, it’s too early to say, but it’s quite possible that there is exchange of oxygen and CO2 across the meniscus between the water…

Field dressing a buck is a given, the question is whether or not you need to do it blindfolded. As for the American flag pants, I presume any pants you wear inside this vehicle immediately become American flag pants.

killing the cemetery.

Are you suggesting someone actually developed Kinja?

Well pull the splintery stick out of your arse and RUN!

How do I know you are a real writer?

How do I know you’re a real physician and not some con artist?

True, I should have specified that they don’t side with criminals unless the criminal is another Republican or elected official doing white collar crime.  That happens daily.  

Maybe the deluxe model has GPS, let the local PD sort it out? 

Um, it’s highly unlikely it’s the Republican judge you would need to worry about.  Not a long history of Republican judges siding with criminals.  It’s more likely the social justice warrior judge you need to worry about.  They don’t want to offend the criminal.  Much better to prosecute the person who was the victim…