My local AMC just put in an IMAX, a bar and every theater has reserved, fully reclining seats and you could drive a car between the rows. It’s nice but it isn’t $40 for the kids and I nice. The good thing is napkins are only like $6 so they got that going for them.

Bullshit, I don’t think he looks like a selfish asshole at all - they’re retiring his number which will be one of the major highlights of a HOF career that brought another banner to the Garden. The Celtics can’t find another time to honor a guy that played for them 3 years and didn’t win anything? If I were IT I would…

Yeah but they had plenty of paper towels.

They could use Jack Reacher to stand in for him, after all.....no wait, never mind.

“This isn’t the Phoenix Suns, no disrespect to any other organization, but you don’t hang conference titles.”

Funny ads are great but when they’re purposely annoying so you remember them people should serve time. If I’m ever in a situation where I have a structured settlement and I “need cash now” I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure the company I use has zero affiliation with fucking JG Wentworth.

“I would never say all Christians are racist. I’m not even saying most Christians are racist”

They should hire a PI and locate The Freak, then they’d be cooking with gas.

You mentioned it and this is taught in aviation, especially in the military where bearing and range estimation are used not only in avoiding other aircraft but joining up on them in formation and intercepting them.

“And we’ll be doing it during a full moon so we make sure we get it all”

What a fuckin’ moron

The mystery of where that announcer from Ball State ended up may be solved.

I tried staying up all night with a bottle of scotch for the Ryder Cup a few years back, the idea looked good on paper at least.

With a little time zone hustle you could get hit by the 3:35 bus several times.

If I made this list I’d be embarrassed and would probably stay inside all day just to be safe.

You spelled Woostah wrong

So cute, so innocent, so enthusiastic. Those poor little Tributes have no friggin’ clue what their parents have done to them.

Every time I read one of Lee Child’s books and he describes Reacher (Bigfoot come out of the woods in the latest book) I start laughing thinking of Cruise.

I must admit when Takeout said they were going to look at butter last week the very first thing I thought of was Big Butter Jesus.