I’m not, really. Like I said, I know Millennials have it rough, just as we do/did. I just...I think it’s more the complaining about being shit on that gets to me. Every generation gets shit on by the one before it. It’s the price a young generation pays for having the entire consumer market keyed in on satisfying its…

I would watch Julianne Moore read the phone book. 

You shut your whore mouth. “Sussudio” is a stone classic. 

There is no need to give up drugs as you get old, unless you’re doing them *all the damn time*. Marijuana is a much more enjoyable experience for middle-aged me than alcohol - no hangover, no potential for nausea and/or barfing, etc. And, now that I’m older, if I want to dabble in something a little stronger, I have…

I could argue your first points (Gen X was told often in our formative years that we’d be the first generation to make less than our parents/have a standard of living lower than our parents’)...but your second paragraph drives home the real point. I’m totally down for that alliance. 

Chum, we were deep in recession when I came out of college with a massive amount of debt, and that whole Internet economy wasn’t even a thing, yet...oh, and then it was for, like, a couple years, before it all exploded and we all lost our jobs...jobs that paid well below what they should have in exchange for future…

Everybody talks about Jack White as Elvis in Walk Hard, but let’s not forget his greatest acting role, waxing poetic about his Tesla coil to Meg White in Jim Jarmusch’s Coffee & Cigarettes:

ITT: Millennials acting like they’re the first people to ever have to face crushing student loan debt, disruptive technology, and a crap economy and job market while being condescended to by previous generations.

Can we please stop giving a shit, already? Fuck this guy. 

I could very easily see him losing the popular vote by more than he did in 2016, and still winning the election. Thanks, Electoral College!

Ah, shit, I forgot a good one: “The War Criminal Rises and Speaks,” by Okkervil River.

You could probably do an entire book of haunting Magnetic Fields lyrics, but I’ve always been partial to “Busby Berkeley Dreams”:

The future is terrifying. The amount and quality of alteration of reality in video footage in order to advance an agenda is going to make the Infowars edit of the Jim Acosta footage look like a prehistoric cave drawing.

I’ll pick a passage from Bob Dylan’s “Most of the Time”:

It’s so frustrating seeing people say things like, “We shouldn’t be getting our ethical compass from a cartoon show,” because YES 100% THAT IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH, but *many people have and do*. It’s like how Saint Jon Stewart used to complain about people giving actual weight to what was said and shown on The Daily…

I think it’s more that half the country - probably more than half, if we’re being honest - are malignant narcissists. Trump is just that part of American culture made flesh. 

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO COOL MY HOT TAKE WITH YOUR “FACTS.” 

I thought to myself, “I’ll go to medical school, I’ll practice for a little while, and then I’ll come back to it.” But I forgot how to do it. I lost it.

This article is inherently flawed in that it starts off asserting that The Waterboy “succeeds.” It succeeds at nothing.