We only have the most basic network tv cable package because the antenna reception for PBS was so bad.
So now we pay a cable company to watch public television.

Boobs count as two things.

I watch a lot of Judge Judy so I can credibly say that everyone should shut up.

Bill Cosby is s rapist.
Donald Trump is your president.
And Apple hasn't even invented the brain stem plugin let alone the Dream Meme App.
Your reality stinks.

Quit leaking the titles of Bill Cosby's upcoming hour long specials.

Only if you're taking a panoramic shot.

Buy a 2nd phone.
Take a picture of your 1st phone with it.
Duh.

I blame whoever invented the internet and the gender that raised them.

Like Ted Cruz, Bill Maher suffers from Punchable Face Syndrome (PFS).
As such, I don't agree with him losing his show because he has an incurable condition.
However, I am in favor of punching him in the face.

Interesting.

These alternate universes take a more Flintstones/Jetsons approach to black characters.

I have to admit, those would be fun to set on fire or chuck out of a car window.

Then why are my wedgie wrists itching and my noogie knuckles burning?

Women be tripping.

I'm using my powers to wish newly thick Rihanna into my apartment.

I'm going to do my part by
- continuing to pirate HBO shows
- continuing to think Bill Maher is a smarmy asshole
- continuing not to watch his show
- continuing to think the Republican party is a thin rhetorical shell around upward wealth redistributing institutional racism
- and not caring when white people say n|66er…

Also, Ice-T continued, "These kids need to get off my lawn, for real."

Would this be a bad time to mention my nickname in my freshman year in college?

When I have a tough decision to make, I procrastinate until inevitable negative consequences make all decision making moot.
Next I find a scapegoat.

I can stand!