My neighbor has been a die-hard Warriors fan for his whole 35 year life, and it makes me happy that he’s happy that something finally great is happening with his team after decades of okay to bad basketball mixed in with very brief high points.

If this was about a girl, I would say that you really just want to bone her and you should admit it.

The Warriors are my favorite team, Albert Burneko is my favorite internet writer, and this is my favorite piece of internet writing.