And then you die at work from overheating :)

I do not miss being in the military, but I do miss my old BDU’s all soft and broken in after being washed fifty times.  I miss the cargo pockets most of all, no civilian attire has the capacity of mid 90's woodland pattern BDU’s. 

Scrubs are the finest work attire ever created, they are comfortable, can be fashionable with the right print or color, and can be easily changed when you’ve gotten hit with bodily fluids.

Eh, yeah, that’s a fair assessment.

Nothing good, I tell you that. 

I see, we’ve got a Schmoopy over here.

Speaking as someone who lived along the The 5 in Central California in the 90's, you are frighteningly correct about them being havens of vampires. If by vampire you mean meth heads.

I’m currently in my early-thirties. Been with my girl for a couple years. We still do the cutesy baby talk thing between us

True, they are both massive sops to the vanity of the people who create them.  

I am the same Dave, other fave of mine and on topic for this tale is Episode 186 Operation Circle Jerk.

Newsletters are so 1998, How about a podcast?

Office bathroom rule

I know that white dudes from Boston fall asleep every night by masturbating to dreams of being on the receiving end of a Fenway Park bathroom gloryhole line

I legit JUST heard the name on The Endless Thread podcast this week. 

For godsake no one tell Magary!

Burneko is about to get a rectal probin’ he won’t soon forget!

Just walk in in your gym short, obviously!

You shit yourself at work during a meeting. It’s obvious to all present—they can hear it, smell it and, as you run out of the room, see it.

Stop begging for us or other people in the comment section to “ungrey” you.

So THAT is what they mean when they say “got them by their short hairs”!