“Help me, BMW enthusiast.  You’re my only hope.”

To me Bond should drive a gentleman’s sports car not some hypercar. In the books it was a Bentley and in the movies it was most famously a DB5. A hypercar like this just isn’t Bond.

Alive when parked.

I was thinking of the court scenes from “My Cousin Vinny!”

Let me drop a little lawyer on you:

Q: You’re 70 now?

A: That’s correct

Q: So, we’re to believe you’re a gentle-driving retiree, is that it?

A: Why, yes, sonny, that’s right.

Tesla is ahead of schedule.  They weren’t expecting to blow up in China for a couple more years.

You sound like you’d be as much fun as a wet blanket.

This atrocity deserves the profanity.

The Fast and the Fuhrerious

Another example of someone thinking money spent on modifying their vehicle equals equivalent increase in value. It does not.

Eat your heart out 11foot8 bridge.

We’re gonna need a smaller boat

No, this is bull and it shouldn’t count as a speed record. Air resistance is a core component of speed records. Removing the primary obstacle to the record makes the record worthless.

Strong 2nd amendment supporter here, and I have a question for you.

The NRA doesn’t care about your rights. Fuck off with that ignorant bullshit.

I’m saying this to you because I have the luck of not knowing any NRA members in real life: fuck you.

Those pictures remind me of being in middle-school sex ed, and they show you weird pictures of anatomy that are excessively detailed, and you’re kind of aroused, but also confused and a bit frightened.