I mean, I’ve been so broke that I all I ever made was dal. Over and over again. I’ve also had a severe enough eating disorder that I ate not much of anything. Neither of those help me in this current situation in which I’m mostly too exhausted and also absolutely uninspired.

Good beer comes in cans too! We all must suffer.

Former Peace Corps volunteer here. If your friend acted like she literally built everything herself then yeah, she sucks. If you hated on her for setting up schools (probably using local laborers) then you’re the shitty person.

I will take Matt Damon’s white savior over traveling with Tom Hanks any day.

Trump transcends time and space, is terrible in all timelines.

He’s been on the tv in meetings a lot lately, trying to figure out this gun thing. Watching, I realize the depth of his banality, ignorance, and arrogance. He’s been trying so hard, this time, to be original. He wants to be the one who solves this. But Nothing he says is relevant. His tweets aren’t aberrations,…

It was just “locker-room nuking.”

Dear god, please tell me Trump’s not immortal!

Dude no you aren’t. U damn well know this joke has been made.

I remember seeing a quote last year somewhere that said: 

See you next Tuesday, Dana.

Lawmaker: You know, maybe we should have some restrictions on driving a car. Age limits, driving tests, eye exams, that sort of thing.

...AND LET’S DISPEL ONCE AND FOR ALL THIS FICTION THAT BARACK OBAMA DOESN’T...

Did Rubio think anyone would actually buy that bullshit line about people buying into his agenda and not the other way around? Marco, Marco, Marco. Pal. Shut the fuck up if you aren’t going to break bad with the NRA.

Why would your respect matter to Angela?

Wow. Straight to Hitler in one post!

He just wants to know that he still has an effect on you. Get a new phone number and block him on that. Block him on every social media that you have, email and whatever. Don’t let him have the satisfaction of messing with you whenever he feels like it.

gives unwanted hugs, invades my personal space, stares at my tits saying, “Well I’m a man,” showed me porn at work

Apologies if anyone else has already pointed this out, but just so we’re all aware Sally Field is trying to set up her son with Adam Rippon via twitter and it’s simultaneously the cutest and the most embarrassing mom thing ever.