Love Samantha Bee so much.

samantha bee is a damn national treasure, for two nations, and she can pinch her d**k between my legs any time she chooses.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THIS FAMILY!

I fully plan on doing this with my thesis too! If a baby takes 9 months to gestate and this stupid document takes 6-7 years (pray for me) you’re damn right I’m going to celebrate it publicly. I also don’t plan to have human babies so this thesis baby is it for me.

This is excellent. I kind of want to do something similar to this- a “birth” announcement upon completion/acceptance of my thesis. It’s my baby, dammit. I’ll obnoxiously post photos of me cradling and staring down at the hardcover bound book, listing all the details like, “she’s a solid 1.5 lbs, 8.5 x 11 inches, with…

This is truly delightful. I love the amount of effort she put into everything (the coffee mug, for example).

Never mind the paintings, who created the amazing artwork that is the Jezebel Titanic logo?

*Gets in the ungreying line*

Ungraying the poor people stuck in the grays who are not meany-pants, and occasionally post a silly comment.....asking for a friend....

Speaking as a lich, I definitely want super athletic zombies.

DO YOU WANT SUPER ATHLETIC ZOMBIE PEOPLE?!?

BECAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU GET SUPER ATHLETIC ZOMBIE PEOPLE.

MOM’S BACK

the clinton campaign? doing something incredibly stupid??

Are the emails bad? I haven’t seen them. Either way, this doesn’t sound like a good move on Hillary’s part. Damn it, quit making it harder for people to like you, Hillary!!!!! We need to win this!

But he isn’t, because he thinks a 14 year old girl being raped by her father should get his permission before aborting.

I agree with you. As a chemist I’ve use all of this and worse. A fume hood, a lab with proper ventilation, eye protection, etc. Of course the workers are affected by the chemicals. I also wonder about women who get a mani/pedi every week or more often.

Thank god. When I went to cosmetology school, way back in the covered wagon days, I had terrible headaches from the nail products. You can imagine the odor when you have twenty students all working on sculpted nails at the same time. It was ghastly. They finally moved the manicuring program to another building because…

GOOD!! This is good!

She also Rick Rolled the audience:

Let me wildly venture an explanation for U.S. airlines’ failure: