Eh, I realized when I wrote this that our current system is rigged to give states the right to run elections like that. This was more of a blue-sky, best case scenario. And yes, I’d absolutely support a constitutional amendment that would give exclusive control of federal elections to the federal government. I…

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Can we just be like, “hey neighbor, you mind uh.. maybe..running America too? I mean we’re like right down here it can’t be that much trouble ....right?”

Dude, half-assedly do Weight Watchers and do Zumba... more to dance around like a fool and de-stress than anything else, if you want a human approach to it. Or don’t. Or just eat the fucking muffin. Yes, you ideally “only get married once”, but I counter-argue that you’re not going to be on your deathbed like, “I’m SO…

Since men are doing all the raping, why not have a curfew for men instead?

I don’t know what to do with the sense of helplessness and blind rage reading stories like this gives me. It leaves me emotionally confused in a way so little else does.

Uhm, excuse me... your article was incomplete. Here. I fixed it for you. Behold the Stewart. Bald before bald was cool. All hail Sir Patrick!

I agree.

Look, Jezzies, I too am ready to settle for Hillary Clinton’s brand of hypercentrist pantsuited warhawking. But let me pine for Bernie, in the green pastures of America’s unreachable left field, for just a few more months.

If enough of us like this comment, it comes true. It comes true, people.

Excellent. I am sure this thoughtful law will be followed by a large budget shift so that any infants with severe disabilities will be given full, free lifetime housing, round the clock nursing care and behavioral therapy of the highest quality.